6 weeks of chemo farts & random barfs

♡ a Halpert update ♡

It’s easy to forget that Halpert has cancer until it’s not. Most days he is his usual happy self, spending his days eating copious amounts of dandelions in the yard and carrying around his plush toy duck. He is still food motivated, hopping out of bed as soon as daylight hits so he can bronco around and remind us that it is time for breakfast. He rawdogs his medication, swallowing a handful of assorted tablets without pill pockets or peanut butter chasers. He is a faucet when you eat snacks near him, drool dripping from his mouth into a pool at his feet. He will seek out eye contact, chomp his jaws, and make the cutest noises in an effort to get you to share with him. (Spoiler alert: It works 9 times out of 10¹).

But then he’ll have a more intense chemo treatment and for days after he will stare at his bowl of food, uninterested until we give him an appetite stimulant and crumble treats on top of his kibble. He’ll pass gas that could clear a city block. He barfs randomly, always managing to find the few carpeted areas of our home to plant his surprise. He will appear out of nowhere with bile dripping from his jowls, making him look like he has a neon blonde handlebar mustache. I clean his face, reminding him that he is the best boy, before I go looking for rags and cleaning spray.

a very sad boy who just barfed on my hiking shoes that were in the wrong place at the wrong time aka near the sliding glass door when Hal desperately needed to hurl.

The night before I am set to leave for a week long trip to Nebraska, he begins scooching his butt on the grass neurotically whenever he goes outside, and once inside, attempts to do the same on the hardwood floor. When he starts to stand up, his back legs never fully straighten. He looks at me with panicked eyes. “Something’s wrong,” I tell Ben, pulling out my phone to google the number for the emergency vet.

“Yeah, he has cancer and is going through chemo,” Ben says, giving me a hug and calming me down, talking me down from cancelling my trip. Like I said, it’s easy to forget Halpert has cancer until it’s not. Hal settles in for the night and is fine by the time he has his appointment the next morning, where the vet explains that the scooching is a common side effect for that particular chemo. I wish they would’ve mentioned that prior to Halpert having to experience it.

Hal’s weekly chemo reports now read that his cancer is in full remission. His lymph nodes are normal size and all detectable signs of his cancer are gone. This is good news but it does not mean he is cured. In canine lymphoma, remission can last from a few months to a year or more, but relapse is common with one article stating 95% of dogs’ lymphoma will return following treatment. I am hopeful the odds are in our favor.

We are dealing with anticipatory grief² always, thoughts of life without Hal rocking us on a daily basis. But we are hanging in there. It’s harder to do on his bad days, but lucky for us those remain few and far between³. I’ve scheduled lots of PTO throughout the summer so I can enjoy this beautiful season with my beautiful boy :) Time is short⁴ and he is still alive, still here, still eager to explore in the sun.

the best boy :)

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1. And when it doesn’t work it’s because the snack contains chocolate or something else toxic to dogs. He has cancer, he’s getting spoiled!

2. I’ve been revisiting this article titled ‘What to Do When Your Dog is Dying’ (that I ironically read the day before we got Hal’s diagnosis) from

Thyme is Honey

and it has helped me deal with all the emotions including anticipatory grief. Dani’s words have given me things to consider when planning for Hal’s future. 10/10 recommend if you have an animal with a terminal illness or even an older pet.

3. We are so grateful to have access to the best treatment options for Hal. He is responding so well. The sis all possible because of pet insurance. If you have a pet, please consider signing up because it can save you from making hard decisions during hard times. We use Pet’s Best and it has saved us the last year between Halpert’s shoulder injury and now his cancer. We are able to afford the most effective treatment for Halpert only because we are insured! Even with pet insurance we are looking at spending ~$1200 out of pocket for this initial round of treatment. Thank god for my credit card lol 🥲 If you’d like to contribute to Halpert’s chemo fund, you can Venmo me at @jovanna-balquier ♡♡♡♡ Special thanks to Henrik, Ashley, Dana, and Cynthia for your kind donations. ♡♡♡♡

4. Time is shorter for some people more than others. I would be remiss if I failed to remind you that Israel continues its genocidal campaign against Palestinians and is now bombing other countries including Iran while the American government sends them weapons and resources funded by our tax dollars. RESIST THE URGE TO TURN AWAY. Shout at the rooftops that this is not normal. I would be remiss if I failed to remind you of the mass deportations happening by the Trump administration. I.C.E. is destroying families, communities, and this country by driving unmarked cars and wearing face masks & kidnapping people off of the street to ship them off to uncertain and often times lethal destinations. This is not unique to Trump’s presidencies; Obama deported more non-citizens in his years in power than any other president in U.S. history. The system is rotten and it needs to be dismantled. We deserve better. Dream bigger. Fight back. Sorry I had to bring politics into my gloomy dying dog essay but everything is connected, everything is political, ok love you bye 🤠